The Seasonal Narcissist … Or, How to Survive a Holiday When There’s a Narcissist Underfoot

Madeline Scribes:

I have had to deal with a seasonal narcissist for many years now. In this article the writer gives some great advice on how to deal with the narc during family gatherings.

This year I’m actually looking forward to the holidays for the first time in almost 15 years. Peaceful, stress free and surrounded by people I love, for a good change. Here’s hoping your holiday is a happier one this year too.

Originally posted on In the Net! - Stories of Life and Narcissistic Survival:

You don’t have to be married or partnered with a narcissist in order to have one in your life. Studies show that almost a quarter of us have to interact with  narcissists, although that may just be peripherally. If that’s the case, dealing with them becomes much more difficult because they are likely to be in your life for a long time, if only intermittently. It may sound harsh, but once you make up your mind, you can usually get out of a spousal/partnered relationship with a narcissist, although if there are children involved, you may still have to deal with the narcissist for many years.

Nevertheless, many of us have to, especially around special occasions, look out for what I like to call the seasonal narcissist. This is a person whom you may only see every couple of years or maybe a couple of times a year, since narcissists don’t like to hang out much with…

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She was a Monster

There are some things only a handful of people know simply because I have not shared them. To me, they became sacred after my friend was tragically taken from us a few years ago. But today I think his truth needs to be told and in a way that he would want it to be told. I don’t think he would mind one bit.

Some people choose you and some are just a part of your life by default, but when a hive involving many, many folks from all walks of life comes to you equipped with people ready to attack you, that’s when life can get very disturbing. That’s what happened to me and the roller coaster ride I was about to take, along with the strange, unusual twists and turns I would experience trying to understand exactly how any of this happened, would take years for me to unravel. But I finally did unravel them and I removed myself from the grasp of the few folks that make every community they are a member of, quite miserable.

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Filed under All kinds of Advice, Memories good and bad

a better class of friends

Growing up I had many, many best friends over the years. I’m sure we all did. They say that kids can be some of the most incredibly cruel people on the planet and I’m going to have to say that I agree with that assessment sometimes. I have had the unfortunate displeasure to have come into contact with a few of them and at the time, they were supposed to be my best friend.

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My third eye isn’t that blind

About twenty years ago I was working in a national recruiting position that required me to utilize commercial airlines on a weekly basis. After several hairy and frightening flights, I started to feel I was using up my good karma for flying. I began to experience small and then heart palpitating panic attacks at the mere thought of getting back on another plane.

This wasn’t going to be good for my career. Continue reading

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“I found her journals”

I was watching a docudrama on the History channel that put a different spin on the part of Houdini’s life when he went after mystics and psychics in order to expose their tricks to the unsuspecting public. One of the female psychics followed him back to his hotel after he ruined her seance one night. He and a Scientific American magazine writer were in attendance at this seance. Houdini had exposed all of her tricks and vowed to write about them in his report. She tried to seduce him. He pushed her away and told her sex wouldn’t change his mind, and that’s when she said something that triggered an avalanche of memories in my own brain.

She said “After you’re dead we can make you say anything we want you to say! When you’re dead, we own you!”   Continue reading

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grateful to just be

I aspire

In today’s ever changing landscape in the business world I see many aspects of other’s jobs and professions that I am grateful I will never have to consider as part of my own professional landscape.

I am grateful that I will never have to forsake a friend, or downplay their importance to me, simply because they don’t fit the necessary criteria that will further my own success and popularity.   Continue reading

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friends that Steal

blue cabana from LL Bean

blue cabana from LL Bean

Having something stolen from you has to be one of the most invasive and unsettling feelings I have ever known. It doesn’t feel good to know that someone would come into your personal space and take something that you worked hard to pay for.

I was walking across the field at an event one year when I saw a man putting together a pretty blue cabana. It looked just like the ones my husband and I had just purchased from LL Bean and I wanted to see how much this guy liked his.   Continue reading

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I “Like” integrity

There is one Way of the World I would love to change, or see it change during my lifetime. I can see tiny sparks of it now among my own friends that do have these qualities.

The world would be so much nicer if the loyalty and integrity of someone became qualities people liked more than they liked the popularity of someone else with the integrity of a grub.   Continue reading

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I will never be silent again

I will never stop sharing.

Not ever.

No one will silence my thoughts.

No one will stifle my humor.

I will not bend to someone’s whims or perception of how they think I should behave.

It’s nonsense for anyone to be expected to do that.

Utter nonsense.

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let me beat you up with love

When someone tells you what they really think of you and they are not kind about it and truly heinous remarks are made and then they tell you how awesome they think you are and that they are your friend…here’s another way to look at it.

Take a baseball bat and swing it hard enough to break your friend’s bones. Then hug them and tell them how much you love them.

Does this sound like a friend you’d like to keep around?   Continue reading

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