One day over lunch my friend was lamenting about her upcoming birthday. She was turning thirty nine. She couldn’t believe that she was so old and lamented about how it was going to feel when she got older. “My god! How hard is it going to be to turn fifty?! What am I going to look like?! Am I going to be all dried up and wrinkled?!” 

My birthday is coming up soon, but my own birthday has never been something I have ever made a big deal over. To me, it’s just another day. In all my life I only remember one party and perhaps a cake or two, but even when I was a child, birthdays just weren’t treated like a holiday. I can only guess that this was something with family traditions and customs, but the only birthday I can remember celebrating every year was my grandmother’s. I’m pretty sure the only reason we celebrated hers was because it was also their wedding anniversary, and that was definitely celebrated in our home.    Continue reading

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no one wants to be You


One afternoon I was doing the new “vanity search” on Facebook when I found several people that have the same name as me. I had been told that it was a good idea to do this kind of a search to guard against someone with bad intentions that might try to steal your identity on the social network. What do you do when you find this many people? It was an arduous task to click on each one to make sure they weren’t up to no good, but I did it. I’m going to recommend this as an interesting exercise in futility if you have some extra time one day and are the least bit curious.

Being a good citizen, I went to my favorite discussion group that same day and posted the article where I had read the helpful advice. I encouraged everyone to try it, just to be on the safe side of social media. Folks chimed in. Some wanted to know if I had done it, so I was busy typing out my results to share with everyone when one of the group members posted the comment “Shut the fuck up! No one wants to be you!”   Continue reading

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Filed under Facebook Advice, Just chattin'!



I have written many articles in the past about the benefits of quietly exiting a relationship that has become toxic due to the discovery personality disorders and abusive behaviors. Recently I saw a new term for this exit called ghosting. I believe I laughed a little when I first read it and wondered who coined the term because it sounds a bit insulting to me.

If I’m making a tidy escape from an abusive friend or family member, then I am not dying to be called a ghost. Mainly because a ghost implies we might come back to haunt the abuser. If I’m making a break for it, I have no intention of ever coming back, even if the jerk deserves to have the shit scared out of them.   Continue reading

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When good magic goes bad


Space Cowboy setup his next trick. He claimed that this would be the most dangerous thing we would ever see. No pictures or video was allowed as we were assured we would never forget what we were about to see. I just love magic acts!

He picked a volunteer out of the audience and proceeded to show the items involved in his trick. A wooden board, solid with no trap doors, placed on a table. This board had 5 set peg holes that would hold the blade of a very sharp and lethal looking knife. He told the volunteer over and over again that it was very sharp and the knife just gleamed under the circus tent lights. There were also five Styrofoam cups, as big as a Big Gulp cup.   Continue reading

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just one little old rock


For years I have shared advice to help you find your voice and use it. I have encouraged you to share your stories of abuse, so that others can learn from your experiences and all of us can begin to heal. That’s been me for the last few years.

The one that refused to ever remain silent.

Well, I have to confess that I have remained silent about one abuser, until lately. I need to talk about this now because she doesn’t ever seem to want to take a break. From ruining life events to suffering my newly formed friendships, she finds a reason to attack me every single day. I should be used to it by now, right? Especially when the victim isn’t supposed to say anything about it, because it’s just too embarrassing. It’s shameful to admit it. To point the finger and say, “Do you know what she does to me?” Let me tell you, a human being can never get used to being mentally and verbally battered, unless they get a lobotomy, or they die.   Continue reading


Filed under All kinds of Advice, Personal Boundaries Primer

still here…still talking



August 25, 2016 · 1:35 pm

speed bumps

speed bumps


August 24, 2016 · 10:40 am

No prob!

stop being a problem

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August 24, 2016 · 10:38 am

I don’t Stink!

all deodorants

I stopped wearing deodorant and antiperspirant back in February of this year and I have been amazed and perplexed by the experience. I know the title says I don’t stink and back in the cold weather months this was most definitely the truth. But as the weather turned warmer and warmer and now it’s unbearably hot, I have struggled with not smelling like a daisy anymore. There are some days after a particularly vigorous workout that I can not even stand myself!

My journey with deodorant has been a long one.   Continue reading


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uncharted territory…monsters are real…make yourself BIG

exploring life

Most days lately find me over here at my home just living life and trying to do the right thing. The “right thing” varies some days, but most of the time it means simply that I am cheerful, happy and loving the people in my life. That’s me. I never purposefully set out to hurt anyone or anything. It’s not in me. In fact, it’s not even something I think about.

My days are pretty full without me ever having to do much to fill them up. I get calls from other friends to go out and do fun activities together, or I look for opportunities to give something back to the community by volunteering. I don’t have the time to sit over here and wallow in whatever new misery someone sees fit to leave in a flaming paper bag of shit on my doorstep. I’m certainly not going to take the time it takes to plot their eventual demise. It’s just not worth it to me.   Continue reading


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